There Was Also Joy

Pam and I met in Anchorage, Alaska, some time in 1990 or '91. We were both stationed at Elmendorf Air Force Base as we served in the 962 AWACS squadron. I don't remember how we grew together. I do remember a bunch of games of racquetball and some other activities. Our time together was pretty stilted at first because she was a commissioned officer and I was enlisted—relationships between officers and enlisted was extremely verboten in those times. Moving past that took a long time, and a lot of my cooking to win her over. We secretly courted for months in Alaska, then another year apart while I was in Oklahoma. I remember sneaking out to Palmer, AK, from Anchorage for a movie date. I can't remember the movie, but I do remember slinking down in the seats to make sure nobody saw us. Mind you, Palmer is roughly an hour away from Anchorage, and not really a date night destination for most people. I also remember a halibut fishing trip out of Homer. Pam always had modera

It turns out you lose some perspective on life when your loving, kind, empathetic 12-year old son wakes up one morning and murders your wife and attacks, horribly injuring, your 16-year old daughter. It turns out you lose some perspective on your relationship with your formerly alive wife when you spend six months digging over every horrible negative, troubled aspect and event of that relationship with defense lawyers, police, and other law enforcement as everyone searches for some reason why your son snapped and did the awful things he did. This blog is an attempt to bring back some memories of the many wonderful times my wife Pam Wolosz and I had during our courtship and life together. Because in the depths of the horrors of the last six months, it's easy for me to lose perspective that there was also joy. A lot of it.